The liquor habit had fastened itself upon me when I was still a very young man, and for at least twenty-five years I was compelled to fight it constantly. By sheer force of will, I would abstain from drink for months at a time, but the return to it seemed to be inevitable. It did not require the tears of those who were nearest and dearest to me, nor the admonition of friends, to remind me of my condition, for I realized it fully myself, the shame of it and the pity of it, since through the use of liquor I had frittered away precious years and golden opportunities. I had never hesitated to accept anything that gave me the slightest promise or hope of freedom from the curse that was overshadowing me. I consulted the best physicians and the leading specialists at home and abroad, faithfully followed their advice, and took their prescriptions. I tried sanitariums and reformatories. I flew to all sorts of "cures." There was scarcely an hour during the period named in which I did not strive earnestly to overcome the habit. I loathed it, and loathed myself for submitting to it, but it seemed to hold me in its grip. During those intervals when I seemed to be master of the situation, and when my family and friends were most confident that I had at length triumphed over the enemy, the fear of succumbing to it again was always with me, and this fear was not less harrowing than the affliction itself. The periods of continued abstinence grew shorter as I grew older, and the physical and mental suffering attending each recurring relapse became intensified as the years went by. During the two years previous to 1901, I scarcely recovered from the effects of one period of intemperance before I had plunged into another. Whereas formerly I could hold myself erect for months at a time, the intervals had now become reduced to weeks and even to days.
Early in 1901 I was granted leave of absence from my desk, that I might visit a watering-place which had several times before proved beneficial to me. I returned from this place only to find myself in the old condition within a week. This was late in February. Early in March I had become so unfit for the performance of my daily task that, not caring to impose further upon the kind consideration of my employer, and despairing of relief, I resigned my position. My resignation was not accepted, and I made another effort to prove worthy of the words of encouragement and confidence which accompanied its declination, but to no avail.
Toward the middle of March word was brought that my presence at my desk on the ensuing Monday was demanded by every consideration of loyalty to those who had so often overlooked my infirmity, as well as to my profession. The call was imperative, and I felt bound in honor to respond to it, if such a thing were possible; but it seemed utterly impossible. I was confined to bed, sick almost unto death. I had not slept naturally for weeks. Of late the soporifics administered to me by our family physician failed to affect me. On the evening of the following Monday, also, I was under obligations to appear in public, and the circumstances were such that my absence would have caused serious disappointment to others, as well as disagreeable comment. But it was now Saturday; I was physically a wreck; I was in mental torture; all the past was filled with shame and failure; the future, as I saw it, had nothing better to offer; death would have been most welcome to me; the thought of suicide was constantly in my mind; at the very best, I could not hope to leave my bed for a week.
On the afternoon of Saturday my wife came to my bedside, and saying that a neighbor, one of her girlhood friends, had called, asked me if I would consent to receive a Christian Science treatment. I assented, although I had no faith whatever in Christian Science; in fact, knew nothing about it. This gentle lady came to my bedside. We conversed a few moments. She referred kindly but pleasantly to my condition, and then, without further preliminary, said she would treat me. I remember that she shaded her eyes with one hand and that she bowed her head as if in prayer.
It was about two hours later, and long after she had left me, that I awoke from a refreshing sleep with the conviction strong upon me that I was a healed and a new man. I felt as confident then as I do now, after the lapse of nearly four and a half years, that the curse which had darkened my life for a quarter of a century had been wholly removed and that I would never again be subject to it.
On Sunday I was able to walk to the residence of this lady, when I received another treatment. On Monday morning, instead of going to the office, I dictated the work required of me at home, and despatched it by messenger. On Monday afternoon I prepared myself for my night engagement. That night I appeared before a considerable gathering of critical people and acquitted myself creditably. Next morning I resumed my work at the office in good health and spirits, and from that time to this I have not only been free from all desire for liquor, but from all fear that I would ever be troubled by it again.
In the old days there were periods of greater or less extent when I held myself aloof from drink by the exercise of what is called self-will, when everybody around me recognized that I was making a good fight, since it seemed to be a fight against odds. I still believe that a man enslaved to the liquor habit, who now and then asserts his manhood and breaks the chain, is deserving of credit. Only those who have been through the heat of the fight can know how well he has earned it. However this may be, the fact remains that I have never indulged in self-applause since I was healed in Christian Science. I have never since then felt that I was entitled to any credit for avoiding liquor, because I have never since then had the slightest desire for it. I have been as free from all temptation in this regard as if I had never been a pronounced and chronic victim of alcoholism.
Christian Science did not stop here in my case. In healing me of the liquor habit it was only beginning to perform its wondrous office. It has made me a healthier and a cleaner man, a better husband, a better father, a better friend, a better citizen. It has vanquished not only all the physical ills that have come to myself and family during the last four and a half years, but it has met our every need. I have the authority for those who pay my salary that I am capable of harder work, and competent to perform better work than ever before. I have the assurance of scores of acquaintances that I look fifteen years younger than I did five years ago. More than all this, I have the conviction within myself that Christian Science has brought me close to God.
Just one word more. No influence was ever brought to bear upon me, other than that which came with the demonstration of its marvelous power, to lead me into Christian Science. My emotions were never appealed to. Before the healing was accomplished I was neither admonished nor advised. I was simply healed, and the wonder of it all would be greater to me now were it not that I have learned, through the study of "Science and Health with Key to the Scriptures," what is really meant by the omnipresence, the omniscience, the omnipotence, and the love of God.
I make this statement freely, gladly, with thankfulness to God, and to Mrs. Eddy, that I am privileged to make it. — John J. Flinn, Chicago, Ill.
[Lead testimony in The Christian Science Journal, February, 1906.]